Poking at our self-esteem

I am wary of the number of articles out there that have titles such as ‘Seven things successful people do in the mornings’ or ‘The three most important things to do if you want success’.
While sometimes they add value and I have gleaned information from them myself, I do wonder if they add to the sense that we are not quite doing what it takes, have what it takes, or, are equipped with the right stuff, to be ‘successful’.
Meanwhile trying to identify and fix that part of ourselves that forever chases the dream and forever seems to fall short.

And many of those articles poke at our ‘self-esteem’.

Self-esteem is an ‘individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth.’
It is based on the beliefs we have about ourselves and where we fit in the world, what we bring to the table, how we contribute, and whether we believe ourselves to be worthy or not.

The word ‘subjective’ is important here, as it is just that.
It is an evaluation of ourselves often based on skewed ideas and perceptions that we have built up in our minds with little room for challenging.
Having worked a long time in coaching, I see clients supporting the often-unexplored beliefs they hold by looking for and finding evidence to prove that the way they see the world is the way it is.
Our beliefs about ourselves are no different.

In the coaching conversation, I can sit in the honoured space of challenging people’s beliefs while opening them up to new truths and possibilities.
The right question in a coaching environment can reach deep into the dark crevices of an individual’s perception of self and bring in light.
The light that comes in when we believe we are enough and that our evaluation of ourselves is a positive one.

The term ‘low self-esteem’ has been an excuse many of us have voiced.
But is it a valid one?
To be honest, I don’t know of anyone that would claim they have great self-esteem all of the time
We have all had that sinking feeling that compared to those other god-like beings, we are just never going to measure up.

We need to let go of the belief that people who create full lives never stand in that tenuous place of fear and anxiety.
That confidence is something you are born with, and those who weren’t will just suffer a life of lesser existence.

I don’t know about you, but I have made a conscious choice just to barrel on through. There is too much at stake.

Do I feel I have low self-esteem – I feel doubt daily; however, I have too bigger dreams to allow it to stop me.

I hope you can find that place as well – that place of being comfortable with being uncomfortable and know that the more you face it, the less power it holds over you.

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