Recently I decided to attempt to gather a team of people and participate in a fundraising event that involved walking 100km’s. I love the idea that you are doing something that stretches you while also raising money for those in need and are part of a team.
So I invited people to consider being part of it knowing and discussing with those that I invited, of the challenges this would involve.
As the next few days unfolded I watched people talk themselves out of it as they listened to those around them that gave them every reason why they could not do it.
So, and while I knew the timeframe was probably too tight, I ended up not being able to gather a team.
While I was disappointed in not doing it I was more saddened by what had unfolded.
How people were initially excited about something that would push them and allow them to be involved in something bigger than them, then allowed the doubts to creep in as those ‘well intentioned’ people around them talked them out of it.
What happened for me was it increased my understanding that if you want to live a full, rich amazing life that is your own, you need to be really mindful of who you gather around you. Of whose voices you let in.
I have never, and yes I mean never, seen a situation where someone tells you why you can’t do something because they care about you.
Oh it looks that way, and I am not saying they don’t, however when we block others dreams and feed into their fear it is always about us.
When people around us dream big and create big things, we can feel small. It can expose the areas of our lives that we have allowed to slip away because it felt too scary. Ironically enough because we dropped our guard on the gate to our mind.
When people around us do something that may require them to commit to something other than us we resist. We like the idea that our partners, friends etc are there for us when we need them.
We all believe that when we talk to people expressing our concerns around how something could impact on them negatively, we are being good people.
However, maybe the ugly truth, as hard as it is to admit, is that we are actually avoiding our own bad feelings.
We are actually preserving our own sanity so what challenges us is not exposed.
We are actually being selfish!
So what did I learn from this – be very careful of who your surround yourself with.
If you wish is to finally take those courageous steps to venture out and create your own life then make sure you surround yourself with people who tell you why you can and believe you will.
As Marianne Williamson says ‘it is not our darkness we fear, it is our light’ and too often we mix with people who do not want our light to shine.