Bonnie Ware wrote a fantastic book ‘The 5 regrets of the dying’.
As a palliative care nurse for many years, she had endless conversations with people at the end of their life.
I guess facing death is a real incentive to reflect on what has gone before.
You know what the no 1 regret was?
It is the reason I do what I love and the reason I get up in the morning.
It is the reason I look to develop myself, so I can work with people to prevent the horror of the no 1 regret.
It was not about family or friends.
It was not about the things we did that didn’t work out.
The no 1 regret of the dying :
‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me’.
Living a life true to yourself comes with many bonuses.
To begin with the presence of joy in your life. That sense that all is well and all will be well
Resilience as you are not drained by the misery of a half-lived life or by others expectations.
Burning up rather than burning out.
You will be attractive – free spirits always are. People who are clear on who they are incredibly sexy.
The problem is when we feel we ‘hate’ life, we fail to see anything that is right with it.
It becomes draining and tiresome and is often accompanied by depression and anxiety.
So how do we build a life we love?
That is a mighty question.
The first thing to understand is it takes courage – as the dying people say it is living a life true to yourself and letting go of the expectations of others.
That is something many of us find terrifying,
The thought of being disapproved of brings up one of our most basic fears– that of being abandoned and isolated from the group.
Then we need to tap into what it is we love.
What we love doing.
How we love spending our time.
Who we love having around us.
Those things that you heard yourself saying ,‘I would love to do that’.
While also unpacking the life you are living and what you have created to make it work.
Midlife crisis’s are often around breaking away from the life that traps you.
The life you often lived because you felt that was what others wanted.
It is not an easy thing to do – however, the idea is to recognise that it is calling you and then take action.
It may be terrifying>
It may involve sleepless nights.
It may even mean you lose people along the journey.
However, with the right guidance the ride can be smoothed and the destination worth it.