When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left
and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’. Erma Bombeck
There are days when I sit in fear and emotions take over.
I can break down into those sobs that come from your soul. Sobs that leave you wretched and your face covered in snot.
There is nothing glamorous about breaking down this way. I have yet to look like Demi Moore in ‘Ghosts’!
Always on my own and only when the task I have set myself feels too hard.
Not the task of the time, but the big overarching dream that holds everything together.
When the dream of what I want to create feels more elusive than ever.
These moments are few and far between however they exist.
I am a personal coach, and I fully support people who have big dreams. Actually, I love people that have big dreams. Dreams that are so big most people look at you like madness has finally spread its tentacles over any modicum of sanity you once displayed.
People with dreams move and change the world.
I want to move and change the world.
I want to write poetry that touches the souls of a million strangers and create a movement where mid-lifers understand their worth and their beauty.
I must warn you though that no journey to a dream is smooth and it can be a journey pathed with lonely hearts, tired souls and exhausted bodies.
I thought I would share some things I have learned along the way.
Firstly, sometimes you need to give up – just for a while.
When my first business did not work out, I took a sabbatical which gave me breathing space.
That time allowed me to take the pressure off while figuring out what contributed to the failure.
It is easier to do that when your life does not depend on your work. When you have money coming in and something to occupy you.
When you are not in that space of bashing, bashing, bashing against a wall that does not want to break down. And the pathway forward has long burned away.
This was a brutal and challenging process at times.
I was a solopreneur, and that means the buck stopped well and truly at me.
Me and me alone.
When you can admit to your flaws and the things that need tweaking, it is freeing.
Secondly – it takes time.
I know, I know.
We are surrounded by stories of people who are overnight successes.
Who create amazing companies that they then go on to sell for squillions; however that is not the norm.
I always remember a story I heard from a comedy awards night in London.
The top newcomer award was announced, and the winner strode the stage full of enthusiasm and pride.
Heading off the stage, his award in his hand, he stopped himself, turned back and standing at the microphone said ‘’By the way I have been doing this for 10 years’.
He got a standing ovation as every person who had ground away on the circuit for years understood what he was saying.
It takes time.
Consistent action, patience and time.
Thirdly, you need people on your team.
This I have struggled with as I dream of a team of like-minded people around me who get what I want to do.
Finding people who believe in you, are not jealous of what you are trying to create and want to be a part of your support crew, is essential.
Be warned though, sometimes they are not who you think they will be.
When you are chasing a dream, it can be threatening to those who have none.
And their attempts to undermine can be less than subtle.
Be really mindful of who you take advice from and who you pay to have that advice.
There are many great people out there that can support you however be clear on what it is you require from them and hold them accountable to that.
Dreams are wonderful.
Everything amazing ever invented started as a dream.
Started with someone who dared think bigger than the rest and was probably ridiculed for it.
However, they toiled, sweated and experienced failure many times along the way.
I think it was Thomas Edison who quipped he had learned 1001 ways not to create a light bulb.
But he got there.
And so will you.