I truly believed, somewhat naively, that when I hit
mid-life, I would always back myself.
Self-doubt would be a stranger to me and well planted in my
That the tortuous and constant berating of oneself would
have taken a permanent vacation leaving me to thrive on my own.
I would step confidently into the world with nothing but
words of self-love circling my now unoccupied head.
Well, that is not the case.
Like many women of my generation, I spent a large chunk of
my adult life raising children and taking ‘jobs’ rather than pursuing a career.
For some of us, a robust financial situation allowed us to
be at home full time without pressure to go out into the workforce. While a
pleasant situation to sit in, it could also become our trap.
Others, myself included, worked part-time roles around children
and husband often working many hours as we went from our full-time role to our
As I have hit mid-life, I am more discerning about who I allow
in and who I don’t.
I think it is one of the most important lessons as we age. That friendships are
not about quantity. They are about quality.
It is not about the number of friends we have but the things
we seek to feel safe with those we choose.
There are virtues I want to give to those I love and there
are virtues I need back.