Tell me like it is

posted in: Middlicious Mid-lifer | 0

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the ‘truth’ was withheld from you, removing your opportunity to make decisions, based on the facts?

Once you discover the truth the sense of betrayal can be strong and work on many layers starting with the feeling of someone having lied.

The sense that they removed your power because they decided to hold it in their hands.

Knowing the truth about any situation is powerful if one accepts what is in front of them.
While it may come with some unsavoury facts and details, it does put the ball in our court.

If I know that I am not up for promotion, I can make decisions based on that.

If I know my partner is struggling in our relationship, I can work on how to turn that around or make other decisions based on what I now know.
I can hold my power close to me and, even while experiencing deep hurt and turmoil, make decisions based on what is in front of me.

Keeping people in the dark removes their dignity and their ability to turn in another direction.
The challenge is that telling the ‘truth’ requires adult conversations that potentially reveal something about ourselves and something hurtful to the other parties involved.
It can mean being on the receiving end of the wrath of someone who is affected by the unfolding facts.
Being honest about what is going on, requires us to step out of our own story of justification.
It also requires us to step out of our ‘opinion’ about what is going on. Layering truth with excuses adds to the hurt as it sounds increasingly like BS and self- validation.

To be honest about anything unfolding, any unsavoury details that will hurt other parties currently ignorant to the truth,requires courage.

Stepping into courage is a rare thing.

Take it from one who knows; ignorance is not bliss.
Ignorance removes power, options and the ability to make decisions and shift oneself into a new truth.

From the many people I have spoken to it is the sense of betrayal and powerlessness that hurts. The idea that you were not privy to information that was a game changer. Information others knew that you didn’t and the thoughts of those gossipy conversations behind your back, dig deep into your pain.

The challenge with telling the truth, plying people with the facts, is it requires the desire just for a brief moment, to put your fears aside and be with the other party.
Once I tell you the dirty little secret, then I have to sit with your pain, your anger and your sense of being deceived and that is uncomfortable.

Not many of us seek discomfort.

There are two parts to this situation though.
Part of the equation is taking responsibility for our ability to receive honesty from the outset.
I have had many experiences where someone has asked for the ‘truth’ and then hammered the teller because it was not what they wanted to hear.
It did not match their view of the world, and how things are so they needed to attack the one person who dared to honour their request for truth.

Learning to receive the truth with grace requires a high level of self-awareness.

Telling the truth, revealing the facts of something that is going on, means potentially tipping someone’s world upside down. It can mean changing the idea of both parties of how they thought things were.
It means things change.

We do not like change.

We certainly do not like to be the instigator of change that people have not chosen.
Or to have change thrust upon us.

There is always room for a debate around what others need to know; however when we know for sure that our actions will impact, the sooner the truth, the better for all involved.

The truth is with honesty comes freedom.

As the saying goes, the truth does indeed, set you free.

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