There seem to be a lot of endings in my life right now.
Some I have chosen; some are unfolding and a couple have been forced upon me.
There are moments where I want to hold on for dear life kicking and screaming resistance. Holding on so tight that my nails bleed as I am forced towards the inevitable.
There is a sadness in knowing that things are not going to be as they were however there can also be a realisation that they were ailing anyway.
While there can be safety in what was, there can also be stagnation sitting behind the things that stay the same.
Endings can be hard and I think midlife is a time when many can occur.
As we step into our own truth, which is what I wish for you in midlife, we start to see other truths.
Some of them ugly.
Friendships that are more toxic than friendly.
Careers that no-longer feel right and perhaps never did.
Relationships that once fed us now sit in emptiness as the transition of silent strangers starts to take hold.
And people who we thought were on our side exposed to discover they never were.
As I sit in the afternoon of my life, I know that with living one has to endure/experience endings.
We can resist, we can scream out in pain or place ourselves in the nowhere space of indignity however the endings will happen.
Endings are inevitable and sometimes the sooner we accept their entrance, the more we can walk through the door that is opportunity.
And when we walk through that door, beginnings happen.
Because life is also full of beginnings.
The excitement, the mysteries and the contemplation that come with something new. Not to mention the possibilities.
As I age, I also realise that if we attempt to hold on to things that should have ended, we do not free the space required for new beginnings.
New friendships that are built on truth.
Heart work that has been tapping at our souls for some time.
And perhaps even the love of a lifetime because we begin knowing we must give that which we wish to receive and that no one but ourselves can make us whole.
So many times, I have seen people resist something ending, even though in their heart they know it is no longer working, only to be shocked by the ending making an appearance anyway.
Jobs lost, friendships tipping over and relationships ending are often followed with the hindsight that it should have happened earlier.
That the signs were obvious but because of our resistance to change, they were hidden in the darkness of our fear.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing however not greatly useful in the unfolding of events.
If our desire is to live a Middlicious mid-life, one that is indeed delicious and magnificent, then we must step back and review our lives critically.
With our hearts to the fore and our logical brain set aside for one moment.
We must invite truth to show itself and reveal what we often knew but lacked the courage to face.
Do you have friends that you are not your better self around?
Do you sing on the way to work inspired about what you do?
Do you look at your partner and while you know time has taken its toll, still love deeply?
Is there an adventure or an experience that you yearn for?
Are you over living by the rules of others and long for the freedom that comes with holding your own dreams, hopes and boundaries?
Midlife is an opportunity for shedding.
A shedding of the old and creating of the new.
In the afternoon of our lives, we can brave the wilderness and set ourselves up so the evening glows.
Find the courage to ask ourselves what we know is no longer.
What has been dragged into the now that would have been better left in the then?
What can be rejuvenated with a little love and attention?
And what needs to be set free to manage the journey ahead without us?
It can be the difference between living a life that is ours and surrendering our lives to others.
Others who do not deserve to be the master of what is ours.
And what is ours must be cherished and carried by our hands alone.