A continuation of the conversation with Jacqui Olliver – psycho sexual relationship specialist
2:28 – Niki asks Jacqui to clarify why men in their 50’s and older are more likely to have erectile dysfunction issues than younger men. Jacqui explains that it is about muscle strength.
3:50 – Are their people that don’t enjoy sex or is that a sexual dysfunction as well. Jacqui talks about what could be the reason for people not enjoying sexual activity.
4:35 – Niki asks Jacqui if the theory that people who do not have a lot of sex when they are younger are more likely to have issues when they are older. Jacqui also gives ideas on how to keep the muscles involved in erections strong even when not having sex.
6:56 Niki compares women being encouraged to do Pelvic Floor exercises with men being encouraged to do similar exercises.
7:50 – Does size really matter. A discussion around penis size and whether it really matters . Jacqui gives examples of where size can matter however says that technique is what really matters as well as emotional connection.
10:10 – The porn industry and what really goes on to make porn movies. The disconnect between what looks like is going on and what really is as well as the techniques used to maintain erections for extended periods of time.
10:30 – Niki asks Jacqui to talk about an article she read stating that many midlife marriages are sexless. Niki talks about how saddened she was to read this and what we can do to avoid it happening.
12:35 – can you reignite an attraction to a partner if you have lost it because of the physical changes that happen with ageing? Jacqui suggests things like taking up dancing together particularly things like Latin and Ceroc dancing. Also the importance of having different hobbies and interests than your partner so you can continue to have stimulating conversations about new and different things.
15:20 – the truth that to help your sexual function you need to look after yourself in the ways we are told to so often – exercise, diet and looking after our mental and emotional health.
17:10 – What is sexual imprinting? Jacqui talks about how what we are told about sex and what we witness as children affects our sexual imprinting. Jacqui goes on to give some extreme examples of how sexual imprinting can work.
19:25 – what happens when your sexual fantasies can collide? What if one partner is very adventurous while the other one is more into ‘Vanilla’ sex and does not want to have it any other way?
21.04 – can relationships where couples who are not sexually compatible survive? Jacqui goes on to talk about the 4 levels of sexual fantasy. Jacqui talks about the level where couples talk about sexual fantasies and plan how to put some of them into their sex life without anyone feeling pressured.
26:15 – Niki asks Jacqui about the Life Education Initiative she has started along with Kerry Babbage from the MATES organisation. It is about providing knowledge for life – preparing people for the real world particularly around emotional triggers.