2:43- Kathryn talks about her childhood as a child to military parents and what that means – the privilege of getting to live in different countries and experience different cultures.
3;22 – Kathryn talks about the resilience she built because she was a military kid and the experience that came with living in different places.She talks about how military kids are referred to as dandelions because they make their home where ever they happen to be and settle where ever they are scattered.
4:20 – Kathryn also talks about how her anxiety developed as she was a military kid at a time when the IRA were strong and in the middle of the Cold War.
4:48 – After graduating from University she went into HR and exploring the world of work. how to attract really great people and also how to help people going to work to strive rather than survive.
5:50 – Niki asks can we be anxious and be resilient at the same time. Kathryn talks about how we have set our emotions to positive emotions only and the cost of that.’
6:29 – We need to understand that life doesn’t always go to plan and we need to lean into all emotions and not make ‘bad’ emotions bad.
7:50 – have we been sold the idea that if we set a goal we will get there as long as you don’t take your eye off the ball and you take daily action. It is not the truth because things happen that prevent us getting there.
8:25 – if I have set my emotions dial to positive only then am I equipped to manage when something happens that drops me to my knees. Kathryn talks about the complicated nature of human emotions and that there is not a clear yes/no answer to the question.
9:15 – Kathryn talks about how living in Christchurch, New Zealand, has given her a lot of opportunity to study resilience. With the Earthquakes and the Terrorist attacks so her role as Leadership Development coach they realized they were going to be building teams of pretty traumatized people.
11:20 – The people who understand their emotions tend to fare better when the tough things happen than those who have the positive dial on and do not learn to experience and manage emotions.
12:30 – What is well-being? If Kathryn was to ask individuals people would give different answers. Based on the science things like PERMA, from positive Psychology and Whare Tapi Wha =- the Maori model of well-being. Kathryn says that really is whether you feel good and function well.
14:15 – Well-being is not about one particular thing – for example it is not about going for a run. That is physical well-being and just an aspect of the big picture. Nor is it just about mindfulness.
14:44 – Well-being starts with mental well-being. It is important to be honest about what you natural place is from a well-being perspective and noticing when that wobbles.
15:21- The second bucket is self care and this includes spiritual and physical well-being. There are all sorts of versions of self care.
16:00 – the third bucket is social well-being. Being well connected and not just with people who are going to agree with you and support your story of despair. The final bucket is intellectual well-being. Continually learning and growing.
17:10 – Also the importance of having meaning in life. Learning to ask ourselves how we are feeling on a day to day basis. Not just about how am I performing ok.
18:00 – Niki talks about how important these aspects are during mid-life. There are clear connections with great ageing and self care, exercising and the social connections we have.
19:10 – Is it all teachable. The best time to plant a tree was 25 years ago. The next best time is now. Yes it can be learned and it is certainly linked to ageing well. You are never too old to learn.
20:49 – Kathryn talks about how her book, which is about resilience at work, is actually pertinent to life in general. From a life experience perspective well-being comes before resilience.
22:25 – Niki talks about her mothers advice about always putting your kids to bed in the afternoon so she had some ‘me’ time. How she used that time for exercise because that is what made her feel great.
23:26 – As a Baby Boomer talks about how we didn’t talk about this. Niki expresses her surprise that resilience was not discussed during the days of war when people were going through so much. Kathryn states that it would be sad if we believed that we need war to build resilience. She also goes onto say that each generation has their resilient people.